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The 3 Reasons Why People Won’t Meet Your Standards

February 11, 2025

Over the years, I’ve learned a tough but necessary lesson: people won’t meet your standards. I used to expect everyone to operate like I do—whether in fitness, business, or life in general. But time and experience taught me that not everyone moves the same way.

For a long time, I couldn’t understand why some people didn’t push as hard, follow through, or take things as seriously. It frustrated me, especially when I knew they had the potential to do more. But eventually, I realized something crucial: people have different work ethics, mindsets, and capacities. Not everyone has the same level of discipline, strength, or stamina—physically or mentally. And once I truly accepted that, I stopped wasting energy on what I couldn’t control.

If you're a sports fan like me, you know Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal were a dominant duo. However, despite their success on the court, their rivalry ran deep. At one point, Kobe even criticized Shaq’s work ethic, saying, 'The guy selling donuts had more pride in his job than Shaq.' As expected, when two highly competitive athletes with strong egos share the spotlight, tension is inevitable. Over time, though, things began to shift. Eventually, they found common ground, learned to work together, and turned their once-heated feud into mutual respect and lasting friendship. Watch this video to see how their relationship evolved from conflict to camaraderie. [ The Kobe & Shaq Beef Explained ]

The 3 Reasons Why People Won’t Meet Your Standards—And What To Do Instead:

1. People Have Different Levels of Discipline, Strength & Stamina

At first, this was hard for me to accept. I used to think that if I could push myself, others should be able to do the same. But discipline isn’t one-size-fits-all. Some people build it early, others struggle with it their whole lives.

I saw this constantly as an online trainer. Two clients could follow the exact same program, doing the same workouts, yet their results would be completely different. One person would show up every day, push through discomfort, and stay locked in. The other would skip sessions, make excuses, or give up after a small setback. I used to get frustrated—why wouldn’t they just keep going? But then I realized: not everyone has the same level of mental strength or physical stamina.

The same applies outside of fitness. Some people can work 12-hour days and still have energy to chase their passions. Others burn out after five hours. Some can stay disciplined even when motivation fades, while others crumble under the smallest challenge.

People won’t meet your standards because their capacity for effort isn’t the same as yours. And that’s not always their fault—it’s just the reality of human differences.

What to Do Instead:

Recognize that not everyone has your drive. Instead of expecting people to match you, accept that they may never operate on your level.
Differentiate between effort and ability. Some people genuinely try but need more time to build endurance—physically or mentally. Others just aren’t willing to put in the work.
Surround yourself with those who push themselves. You can’t force people to level up, and many won’t meet your standards—but you can choose where you invest your energy.

2. Most People Won’t Listen—Even When They Ask for Advice

This one used to drive me crazy. Someone would come to me for advice—whether on fitness, business, or life—and I’d give them a clear, actionable plan. But instead of following through, they’d ignore it, make excuses, or continue doing things their way.

At first, I thought maybe I wasn’t explaining things well enough. Maybe I needed to motivate them more. But then it hit me—people won’t meet your standards because they’re not always ready to change.

I had clients who said they wanted to lose weight but wouldn’t change their diet. Friends who asked for business advice but never applied it. It wasn’t that they didn’t want results—they just weren’t willing to put in the work. And that had nothing to do with me.

This goes beyond effort—it’s about mindset. Some people say they want success, but they’re not mentally prepared for what it takes. They think discipline is something you wake up with, not something you develop through struggle.

What to Do Instead:

Stop taking it personally. People change when they’re ready—not when you want them to. Trust me, I used to take it personally, and I still do sometimes, but I’ve learned to let go of what I can’t control.
Give advice once, then move on. If they don’t listen, it’s not your problem.
Put your energy into people who actually make moves. The right people will value your insight and apply it.

3. Everyone’s Circumstances & Priorities Are Different

It’s easy to say, “Just work harder” or “Just make it happen.” But not everyone has the same resources, responsibilities, or life circumstances.

I used to believe that if I could make time for something, anyone could. But then I had to check myself—my situation isn’t the same as someone raising kids, working two jobs, or dealing with struggles I can’t see.

That doesn’t mean people don’t make excuses. I’ve seen plenty of people with all the time and resources in the world fail to take action. And I’ve seen people with nothing push through and succeed. The difference? Mindset, discipline, and willingness to endure discomfort.

People won’t meet your standards because their priorities aren’t the same as yours. What feels urgent and important to you might not hold the same weight for them.

For example, I’ve worked with people who said they wanted lose weight but weren’t willing to sacrifice short-term comfort for long-term weight loss. They wanted the rewards without the struggle. Resistance training is tough—and it’s meant to be. It challenges both your mind and body. But it’s also the fastest, most sustainable way to burn overall fat. Stay consistent, and you’ll reap the long-term benefits. Simple.

[ Resistance Training: pushing your muscles against weight or any other form of resistance to build strength, burn fat, and improve endurance. ]

What to Do Instead:

Understand, but don’t enable. Some struggles are real, but excuses are still excuses.
Hold people accountable—if they’re willing. Meet them where they are, but expect them to put in the work—and hold you accountable in return.
Remember: effort is a choice. The right people will find a way, no matter their circumstances.

Final Thoughts: Focus on What You Can Control

At the end of the day, people won’t meet your standards—and that’s okay. Everyone moves at their own pace, has different levels of discipline, and faces unique challenges.

Instead of getting frustrated, focus on what you can control: your effort, your mindset, and the people you choose to surround yourself with. The only person you can truly hold to your standards is yourself.

"The moment you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for." — Maureen Dowd

To those who won’t meet your standards—accept it, wish them well, and move on. That’s one less weight holding you back. Set the bar high—but stop expecting everyone to rise to it!

~ Take CTRL or Be CTRLD ~