Overcoming Self-Hatred: 4 Steps to Embrace Self-Acceptance

As a passionate mental health advocate, I believe in the power of authenticity—and that means acknowledging my own struggles, including the journey of overcoming self-hatred. I've faced my share of battles with self-acceptance, and through it all, I've realized I’m not alone. Mental health became a major topic of discussion during the 2020 pandemic, but, honestly, at times it feels like the conversation has become diluted. Too often, people exploit mental health for views or attention, and this reflects the broader state of the world we live in today. Still, in spite of all the noise, I can’t help but deeply admire those who courageously share their personal stories. Their vulnerability cuts through the clutter, reminding us all that we are not alone in our struggles.

In this post, I want to get real about my own journey with self-hatred, the lies I once believed, and the tough but necessary steps I took to overcome them. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. Authenticity isn’t just a buzzword—it’s the foundation for living a fulfilling life. So, let’s dive in.

Personal Growth: Revealing Lies I Once Believed About Myself

We all have stories we tell ourselves—narratives that become so familiar they feel like truth. I believed in some pretty damaging lies for years, and they held me back in every part of my life. The first lie I had to confront was:

"I'm Not Good Enough"

For decades, this lie ruled my life. From middle school to college, this thought haunted me, particularly in moments when I had to put myself out there—like during presentations, relationships, or job interviews. Over time, I realized that confidence was key. Without it, no matter how hard I worked, I was running in place. Confidence, I learned, isn’t just a feeling—it’s a choice. It’s the fuel that drives us toward growth and success. 

"It's Because I'm Black"

I won’t sugarcoat it—this one hurt to face. There was a time when I believed that my skin color was the reason I wasn’t succeeding. But as I matured, I realized that this narrative didn’t serve me—it trapped me. It wasn’t about denying racism’s existence; it was about rejecting the idea that it had to define my path. I’ve seen too many people use this excuse, not just in the Black community, but everywhere. It’s a form of avoidance, and I refuse to live like that. Yes, we face challenges, but we are not defined by them. We are responsible for how we respond.

"I’m Too Short"

This one weighed heavy on me, especially as I chased my dream of becoming a professional baseball player. Being shorter than most players made me feel like I didn’t belong. I applied the same negative mindset to other areas of my life, like dating. It took a long time for me to realize that my height wasn’t something to hide or be ashamed of. It doesn’t define me. Overcoming this lie wasn’t just about accepting my body—it was about rejecting the belief that my worth was tied to how I measured up against others.

"I’m Too Old For This"

A lot of people say, "You're never too old," but I’ve learned that’s not always true. Sometimes, you are too old for certain things—like chasing dead-end paths or holding onto outdated beliefs. But here’s the truth: age is rarely the barrier we make it out to be. I spent years thinking I was “too old” to enjoy things that brought me joy, like professional wrestling. I let the judgment of others—and my own insecurities—hold me back. But now, I don’t care. I’ve learned that if something brings you joy, age doesn’t matter. 

Now, I’m revisiting wrestling, but not the WWE. I’m more drawn to AEW nowadays, a company that’s trying to shake things up, despite the negativity and skepticism it faces. I’ve always been an underdog supporter, and AEW represents that spirit. It’s raw, it’s real, and it’s unapologetic—traits that remind me of my own journey. 

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Check out the video version where I expose these lies. [ Watch Here ]

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Steps to Overcome Self-Hatred

So how do you break free from these lies? From self-doubt and self-loathing? Here are some steps that helped me—and they might help you, too:

1. Acknowledge the Lies You Tell Yourself

The first step to change is honesty. You have to recognize the lies that are holding you back, especially in overcoming self-hatred. This isn’t easy. But once you identify them, you can start to dismantle them. If you're struggling to see the lies, ask someone you trust for their perspective. Brutal honesty might sting, but it’s necessary for growth.

2. Reconnect with Your Inner Child

Take a moment to think back to when you were a kid—what did you enjoy doing? What brought you joy without judgment or self-criticism? For me, it was baseball, video games, and wrestling. Reconnect with those simple pleasures. Sometimes, just remembering what made you happy as a child can help you rediscover parts of yourself that you’ve lost along the way.

3. Prioritize Physical Health

We often underestimate the power of physical health in overcoming self-hatred battles. When I started focusing on my physical well-being, everything else fell into place. Exercise is more than just building strength—it’s about proving to yourself that you’re capable of more than you think.

4. Seek Relatable Content

We live in a world where online content often feels shallow or fake, but finding authentic, relatable content can be a game-changer in overcoming self-hatred. Don’t waste time on things that don’t resonate with you. Seek out stories that reflect your struggles, your triumphs, and your journey. Overcoming self-hatred is possible, and when you find content that connects, it reminds you that you’re not alone.

Conclusion

The journey to overcoming self-hatred isn’t easy. But it’s possible. By confronting the lies we’ve told ourselves, reconnecting with our roots, focusing on physical health, and seeking authentic content, we can learn to embrace our true selves. The darkness doesn’t last forever. Keep pushing through.

Don't let the weight of the world make you forget how far you've come. You’ve got more in you than you know.

Overcoming self-hatred requires building a new mindset, and while it takes time, the question is: are you ready to start? Check out this article to discover how to develop a 'jungle' mentality. Learn More

~ Take CTRL or Be CTRLD ~