As we grow older, we learn many lessons—some through experience, others through the people we encounter. One of the hardest truths I’ve come to understand is encapsulated in the phrase "familiarity breeds contempt." It’s something that unfolds over time as relationships evolve, friends come and go, and family dynamics shift. The more we get to know someone, the more their flaws become apparent, and the initial admiration or closeness may begin to fade. In this blog, I want to dive into how this dynamic has played out in my personal journey, particularly in relationships with friends, family, and even when pursuing my goals.
The realization that not everyone you think has your back truly does can be one of the most challenging yet liberating lessons of life.
The Changing Nature of Friendships: Who Truly Cares?
As I've grown older, one of the most eye-opening experiences has been watching my friendships evolve. In the early stages of friendship, everything feels fresh, exciting, and supportive. You share common interests, spend a lot of time together, and the bond feels unbreakable. But with time, the dynamic can change. Small annoyances or differences start to surface, and the once-strong bond can begin to weaken.
I've seen friends that I thought would be by my side forever slowly drift away. Sometimes, it’s a subtle realization—you notice you’re always the one reaching out, always the one checking in. Other times, it’s more abrupt, like when you start pursuing a new passion or a goal, and instead of encouragement, you’re met with indifference or, worse, negativity.
In my personal journey, I’ve noticed how some people who were once in my corner didn’t quite cheer as loudly when I started focusing on my own vision. Maybe it was because I wasn’t giving them the same attention I used to, or maybe it was jealousy. Either way, it hurt. There were moments when their lack of support made me question whether I was on the right path or whether my goals even mattered. It’s amazing how much the opinions of others can mess with your head if you’re not careful.
But I’ve learned that this is part of the journey. People show their true colors over time, and as we age, we start to see who really cares about us for who we are, not just what we can offer them. Not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever, and that’s okay. What’s important is learning how to navigate these changes without losing sight of who you are and what you stand for.
Family: Navigating Familiarity and Frustration
In the same way that friendships evolve, family relationships can also be impacted by familiarity. These are the people you’ve known your whole life, and because of that, it’s easy to take them for granted or to feel taken for granted by them. I’ve experienced this firsthand. Growing up, I often felt that certain family members didn’t understand me or didn’t support the path I wanted to take. Their advice sometimes felt outdated, and their opinions often clashed with my own vision of the future.
As I grew older, I found myself pulling away emotionally, frustrated by the fact that those who were supposed to care about me the most didn’t seem to understand the direction I wanted my life to go. But with time, I also realized that their distance or misunderstanding wasn’t always out of a lack of love. Sometimes, people are just too familiar with you—they see the version of you that they’ve known for years, and it’s hard for them to see you any differently.
What’s important, though, is that you stay true to your goals and vision, even if those closest to you don’t always understand or support them. It’s easy to let their lack of enthusiasm throw you off track, but at the end of the day, your journey is your own.
Pursuing Your Vision: The Mental Battle of Lack of Support
One of the most challenging aspects of focusing on your goals is realizing that not everyone is going to support you. This has been a tough lesson for me. When you have a vision, especially one that doesn’t align with what others expect, you might find yourself walking a lonely road. I’ve had times where I’ve shared my ideas with people, expecting them to be excited for me, only to be met with skepticism or apathy.
That can really mess with your head. It makes you doubt yourself, your abilities, and whether your goal is even worth pursuing. It can feel like a punch to the gut when the people you care about most don’t share your enthusiasm. I’ve had moments where I felt completely thrown off my game, wondering if I should even keep going.
But I’ve learned that the key to staying focused is to remain true to your path. Don’t let the opinions—or lack of support—of others determine your worth or the value of your goals. There’s nothing wrong with wanting validation from the people you care about, but at the end of the day, your purpose and passion have to come from within.
If you let the doubts of others steer your ship, you’ll always be blown off course. But if you hold strong to your principles, your morals, and your vision, you’ll eventually find your way, even if some people fall by the wayside along the journey.
Being Open-Minded but Protective of Your Path
This isn’t to say that you should ignore the input of others entirely. It’s essential to stay open-minded and to consider different perspectives. Sometimes, those closest to you can offer valuable advice, even if it doesn’t seem like it at first. But there’s a fine line between being open to advice and letting other people’s opinions control your actions.
I’ve learned that while it’s important to listen, you also have to be protective of who you are and what you stand for. If you compromise too much, you risk losing yourself in the process. It’s a balancing act—being open to learning from others while staying true to your values and your vision.
The Celebrity Factor: Stay True to Yourself
Another area where "familiarity breeds contempt" can apply is in how we perceive celebrities. It’s easy to worship public figures, thinking they have it all together. We admire them from a distance and sometimes lose sight of our own journey in the process. I’ve found myself getting caught up in this too, looking at celebrities and thinking that if I just followed their blueprint, I’d succeed.
But the truth is, while celebrities can be inspiring, they’re also human. They have their own flaws, challenges, and paths that may not align with yours. Admire their resilience, take note of their work ethic, but don’t lose sight of who you are and what makes your journey unique.
At the end of the day, personal growth means understanding that not everyone will have your back, and not everyone will cheer for you. That’s okay. What matters is that you stay true to your goals, protect your path, and never lose sight of who you are, no matter who fades away along the journey.
~ Take CTRL or Be CTRLD ~